The Grief of Overfunctioning

Greetings, Reader!

"Is it normal to be this exhausted all the time?" a client asked me this week.

Another said, "I can't believe how physically tiring pain is."

A third said, "My executive functioning is nonexistent right now. I keep starting things, forgetting what I'm doing, and giving up because I just don't have the energy."

My friend, our nervous systems were not built to hold the trauma and tragedy of the whole world, and they were especially not built to hold it all while still going to work, being the caretaker, and juggling a million things without help or support.

If you're feeling this depletion, too, you are not alone.

And, if there is a voice in your head judging you for not being able to keep up, or chastising you because you used to be able to do it all and suddenly you can't, that voice is speaking from a place of grief.

Grief over having to hold it all. Grief over not having the support or resources you need to metabolize it all so your nervous system can stay resilient. Grief over the magnitude of challenges you are facing on personal and global levels.

This grief is compounded for those of us whose nervous systems have been trained to over-function.

When you have to stay strong while everything is falling apart, who is strong for you?

When you hold everyone else up, who holds you?

The headaches, clenched jaw, tightness in your throat, irritation, short fuse, emotional flatness mixed with sudden spikes of frustration and overwhelm, inability to focus or think clearly, feeling wired but tired, and the pain you can't escape...these are not failures, they are protests.

Your nervous system can only hold so much. It's asking for support. It's not meant to do this thing called life alone.

And when the demands of life increase and the vital resources (rest, sleep, nourishment, movement, connection, and support) decrease, as they often do when life is stressful, it is no wonder you feel depleted.

First of all, chronic stress, pain, illness, and overwhelm take so much energy. I mean literal energy, not just capacity. On a typical day, the brain consumes 25% of the body's glucose reserve, even though it only accounts for 2% of the body's weight.

Stress naturally increases the body's demand for energy and raises blood sugar levels so you have enough energy to run or fight. You need more fuel when life is stressful, and the reserves only last so long.

Depletion is a biological response to prolonged nervous system activation.

Of course you're exhausted.

I feel so grateful to be able to hold space for so many compassionate, caring beings who are feeling the weight of the world on their already full plates.

Witnessing people transform overwhelm into peace, and downshift from spiraling into rest is sacred.

It is such an honor to provide a safe space for people to put down what they are carrying, and to hold people who rarely get to be the one who is held.

I leave lots of transition time for folks to rest in their cocoon for a while, feeling warm, cozy, and supported. I don't want folks to have to rush back to the demands of life. Every single person lingered this week, savoring the feeling of being unhurried, of not having to solve, or do, or fix anything.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, depleted, or burned out from navigating chronic pain, or from simply trying to be human in this messed up timeline, I'd love to support you.

You can ask for help, and you'll actually receive it.

You can fall apart, and I'll help you hold that grief so it feels seen, and heard, and truly supported.

Do you want support that will turn down the volume of your nervous system so you can feel like yourself again?

Give yourself the gift of CranioSacral Therapy, or schedule a free Nervous System Attunement Strategy Session to develop a personalized plan to build nervous system resilience so you can stop being consumed by pain, suffering, and overwhelm and have the energy and capacity to focus on what really matters to you.

In love and solidarity,