Your Nervous System Doesn't Need to be Regulated


Greetings, Reader!

I used to know someone who smoked half a cigarette and drank half a glass of wine everyday to maintain her tolerance to both.

While I'm not sure how great that strategy was for her overall health and longevity, she was on to something from the perspective of resilience.

If we try to eliminate all of the stressors from our life, we will, paradoxically, become much less tolerant of stress.

A resilient nervous system is able to respond to challenges by being radically present, but sometimes if feels like the wellness world is pushing a version of healing that is less about resilience and more about suppression.

In recent years, nervous system regulation has become a ubiquitous catch phrase in the wellness world. From cold plunges to breathwork, there are innumerable trends claiming to help your nervous system be more regulated.

But what does nervous system regulation actually mean, and is it even the right goal?

The word regulate comes from the Latin word regulare, which means "to control by rule."

When I hear that word, I feel a visceral constriction in my body. I think of all the ways society and people in power have tried to control our bodies, control our emotions, or control our minds, and I want no part of any healing method that requires more control.

Nervous system regulation teaches us to control our reactions so we stay calm.

Is that really the goal?

Rather than simply teaching the nervous system to be calm, nervous system resilience retrains your nervous system to be able to mobilize in response to stress, and to be able to recover once the danger has passed.

We want the nervous system to mobilize in response to danger. If there is a fire, the fire alarm activates to keep us safe.

Mobilization in response to danger isn't a defect; it is the nervous system doing exactly what it should do to keep us safe.

Sensations and emotions are messages from our wise bodies. They aren't things that need to be suppressed, regulated, or controlled. In fact, the more we try to control how we feel, the more constriction we will create around that energy, and the more we will feel the pressure of that energy asking to be heard.

Instead of controlling what we feel, perhaps we can receive these messages as if they are gifts.

Joy is gift we receive when our soul is reflected in another.

Grief is the gift we receive when our love can no longer be received.

Anger is the gift we receive when what matters most is threatened.

Pain is the gift we receive when our nervous system senses danger and wants to keep us safe.

What if, instead of controlling our nervous systems so we don't take up too much space, so our feelings don't spiral out of control, so we stay calm...

What if, instead of trying not to feel what we feel...

What if, instead of skipping ahead to elimination without doing the work of digesting and integrating...

What if we received these gifts with compassion and presence?

What if we listened to our body's wisdom and trusted that we would have the capacity to hold our own suffering with tenderness and care?

What if we let our pain take up space and we took the time to listen and learn from it?

This doesn't mean to just grit our teeth and bear it; it means being willing to hold the hand of fear through the wilderness and escort it back to safety.

You can't heal pain unless you address the root causes: fear and hypervigilance.

If you are struggling with pain, I invite you to join the next cohort of the Break the Pain Cycle program. You will learn all about the science of pain, but you will also learn how to restore nervous system resilience by working with the fear, and by reestablishing safety.

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The next cohort of the Break the Pain Cycle program begins in January.

The early bird discount will only be offered via the waiting list.

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In love and solidarity,

Rachel

Doctor of Physical Therapy & Integrative Pain Specialist

Build a resilient nervous system to help you flow through the seasons of your life with courage, wisdom, and compassion.



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Dr. Rachel de Simone

I'm a Doctor of Physical Therapy and a Certified Chronic Pain Specialist on a mission to change the way we treat chronic pain by focusing on the root causes in the nervous system. Join my FREE 7-Day Sensory Integration Challenge by subscribing below and learn how to reset your nervous system, one sense at a time.

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