Greetings, Reader!
Over the past two weeks, we've explored how the flight response keeps us running on the treadmill of chronic hustle, and how an internalized fight response fuels self-criticism, perfectionism, and control.
Today, I want to talk about the 3rd 'F' word: Freeze.
You know what freeze feels like if you've ever:
- Sat down to work and then found yourself staring at your screen or scrolling on your phone for hours without getting anything done;
- Been in a stressful situation and been unable to respond;
- Avoided uncomfortable conversations, or intended to have an important conversation, but your words got trapped in your throat and you spent hours afterwards thinking of all the things you wished you'd have said;
- Cancelled plans because, even though you wanted to connect with others, but you just couldn't mobilize yourself to get there;
- Felt so stuck that you've been incapable of caring for your basic needs; avoiding showering, washing your dishes, or even eating because you just didn't have the capacity.
Society labels this as laziness, procrastination, or a lack of discipline. Your nervous system knows it as self-preservation.
I still think about a freeze experience I had with an orthopedic doctor when I was deep in my journey of unraveling chronic pain. He was utterly dismissive of my experience, and suggested I see a psychologist, which we all know is code for "It's all in your head."
As a physical therapist, I knew that my nerve injury was causing muscle weakness, which is why I was losing function in my hand, but I'd experienced so much medical gaslighting that having to prove my pain was real for what felt like the hundredth time felt like a profound threat, and I froze. As soon as I left his office, I thought of exactly what I should have said, and it's haunted me ever since, even though I know it was a survival response and not a moral failure.
Like all of the survival responses, freeze is a protective strategy the nervous system employs when there is potential danger. Freeze sometimes is an initial, temporary response the nervous system defaults to while assessing it's options.
Other times, freeze is a deeper immobilization that occurs when it is not safe to respond, and there isn't an option to fight or flee. When a threat feels too big to fight and too fast to outrun, the nervous system pulls the emergency brake. In clinical terms, this is a dorsal vagal state. In real life, it feels like hitting the gas and the brake at the exact same time. Your engine is revving with survival anxiety, but your wheels are completely locked.
For a high performer, freeze rarely looks like fainting or playing dead. Instead, it shows up as functional freeze or execution paralysis. It’s the brilliant entrepreneur who suddenly dreads pitching to potential clients. It’s the writer staring at a blinking cursor for four hours without writing a word. It's knowing exactly what you need to do, having the skills to do it, and yet feeling an invisible, crushing weight pinning you to the couch while you mindlessly scroll through your phone to numb the anxiety.
And because high achievers often base their worth on their performance, entering a freeze state triggers an immediate, brutal shame spiral: Why am I being so lazy? What is wrong with me? I just need to force my way through this.
But you cannot force your way out of a freeze state. You have to thaw.
Andy (name changed for privacy) is a brilliant strategist and consultant. He came to me because he was trying to launch a major pivot in his business, and he was stuck.
Every time he sat down to work on the launch strategy, his mind would go completely blank. He felt numb, and an inexplicable, heavy fatigue would wash over him. To cope, he would spend hours tweaking minor design elements or compulsively checking emails, doing anything he could to avoid writing the high-stakes proposal.
Weeks passed and Andy was spinning his wheels and not making any progress. He started to have a crisis of purpose and began doubting that he was cut out for the work he had been so passionate about.
When Andy first came to see me, he was trying to use logic and sheer willpower to break the paralysis. But his immobility wasn't a mindset issue; it was a biological defense. His nervous system perceived the visibility and vulnerability of this new business pivot as an existential threat, and it had shut down his system to keep him safe.
You cannot hustle your way out of a freeze response; trying to force action only signals more threat to an already overwhelmed nervous system. Through our somatic work, instead of demanding that Andy "just do the work," we focused on teaching his nervous system specific skills to slowly thaw his nervous system from the bottom up:
Attuning to Safety: Once Andy understood that he wasn't suffering from lack of motivation or concentration, but rather was experiencing a survival response, he was able to have more self-compassion. Instead of trying to push through, he started to view the brain fog, heaviness, and fatigue as signs his nervous system needed support, and he learned to take a break and reorient to safety. I taught Andy to shift his gaze back and forth between an object that is close to him and an object that is far away to break the trance, and then to scan his eyes around his office, tracking the lines of the windows, the color of the plants, and the texture of the furniture to prove to his nervous system that there aren't any lions, tigers, or bears in the room.
Facing the Fear: Underneath the numbness and paralysis was a deep fear of failure. Through CranioSacral Therapy and SomatoEmotional Release practices, Andy was able to confront his fears and restore his trust in himself that he would be able to navigate and survive any outcome.
Pendulation: When the heavy, numb feeling would creep in, we practiced shifting his attention back and forth between the site of numbness in his chest and a place in his body that felt neutral or grounded (like his feet touching the floor).
To discharge the trapped survival energy safely without spiking panic, Andy used gentle physical mobilization: pushing his palms firmly against a wall, taking deep somatic sighing breaths, and gently shaking out his arms and legs to signal to his tissues that movement was safe again.
Baby Steps: Andy was overwhelmed by the enormity of the project, so we broke each action down into micro-doses that didn't activate his emergency brake.
Once his nervous system realized it didn't need to protect him by shutting down, Andy’s natural creativity returned. He launched his new business pivot smoothly, not by forcing his way through the wall, but by gently showing his body that it was safe to move forward.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, heavy, or disconnected from your usual drive, your nervous system might just be trying to protect you the only way it knows how.
I invite you to pause right now and check in with your body:
- Am I confusing a biological shutdown (freeze) with laziness or lack of discipline?
- When I feel stuck or numb, what might my nervous system be trying to protect me from?
- What is one micro-step that I can take today to show my body it is safe to move forward?
- What would happen if I stopped punishing myself for slowing down, and instead asked my body what it needs to feel safe?
If you are tired of feeling stuck, you don't need more time-management apps or motivational speeches; you need to teach your nervous system how to safely reconnect.
You don't have to figure it out on your own. In fact, when you are frozen, it's really hard to thaw without support.
Click here to book a free consultation with me.
I'd love to help your body feel safe, vibrant, and fully present again.
In love and solidarity,
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Rachel
Doctor of Physical Therapy & Integrative Pain Specialist
Rewire your nervous system and break the cycles of chronic pain, depletion, burnout, and overwhelm so you can be fully present for what matters most in your life.
Start with a free Nervous System Attunement Strategy Session
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